Helping yourself first.

“I can’t help you if you don’t help yourself first.”

The above statement is one of the most frustrating things I have encountered throughout my life. Is it a crime that I want the people around me to succeed? I believe in them so much because I know they can be great, but when they don’t know that, and when they don’t set themselves up to be great, not only do they get frustrated, but I’m frustrated because they’re frustrated! First and foremost, it is their life. I can’t force anyone to do anything, and success can only be achieved within yourself. But am I a good friend if I don’t say anything? If I see them struggling and frustrated at their situation, and the reason they feel this way is because they dug their own hole, would I be wrong to explain to them how it all can be prevented in the future? It’s hard to just sit back and see the people important to you not be all they can, especially when you know if they only changed their attitude or this or that they could be everything they aspire to be and more. I hate to be the friend that lectures, so I don’t lecture. I hate to come off as condescending so I hold my tongue. I realize that everyone is not the same. People do things differently, and I have to be understanding of that. Despite my desire to help, despite me seeing how easily they could conquer the situation they’re in by just doing or changing a few simple things, I can’t help unless they help themselves first. If someone was trying to help me but I was not receptive to it, then they are helping me in vain. People are going to do what they want to do. They are going to change when they want to change. They will step up to the plate when they feel they are ready to step up to the plate. And when they’re ready to do so, if they need my help, I’ll be there.


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