Vent #1: Senior Year

Maybe I’m just experiencing senioritis but….

School is just feeling a tad in the way lately. Which is an odd thing to say, I know, because school should be my main priority. Bleh.

Well, I began my senior year of college (I feels old). The year has been going well so far actually, school has been surprisingly chill lately considering what I’ve been used to the past three years, but I think that’s how things should be since I’m a senior and on my way out of there. In no way do I want to rush any time period in my life, especially one that is a big part of my life like university, but man oh man am I just not feeling school lately haha. I mean, I’m genuinely enjoying my classes, I really like my Tennyson and Pre-Raphaelite Poets class for my senior seminar, which is not something I was expecting to enjoy, my Worlds of Music class is also surprisingly cool despite the annoying Tuesday, Thursday, FRIDAY schedule (like seriously, why?), and my two psych classes are ya know, psych: just focusing on things I already learned in more detail depending on the class. So it’s not my classes that are bothersome, it’s just the act of going to class and doing work. What an unoriginal complaint dealing with school, I know. BUT, lately I just want to live my life without the monotony of a school day! I’ve been swamping myself with extracurriculars trying to build my writing portfolio and embrace these opportunities I’ve been presented, so when I graduate I can have something to do that I want to do, and I also just really want to spend some time with myself like doing yoga in the morning and teaching myself how to play my guitar, and doing my hair, and reading for fun, and practicing my French, and writing EVEN more, and just all the things I want to do without school work looming over my head! Can I just live my life freely please?!

But that’s my little rant. Like I said, I do not want to rush it, but I am ready to embrace the parts of my life that are slightly hindered when I’m too exhausted at the end of the day because of school to do anything but what I have to do i.e. try to do my school reading and ultimately end up falling asleep on the page. I just want to wake up and have the day free to do as I please and be productive in my own personal ways…outside of the classroom. But I will no longer complain, I have a test Friday.

Peace&Love to you all<3

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Maybe I”m a “Hippy”

I’ve been called a hippy on many occasions. Although, I’m not exactly sure what that entails.

Outside of the cliche peace signs, weed smoking, and devil may care fashion choices of the 1970’s, I couldn’t describe to you exactly what a “hippy” is, and because I cannot define it myself, I choose not to identify as one out of courtesy of those who do identify by the “hippy” label.

Personally, when people call me a hippy I just think for lack of better words they are commenting on my free spirit. I will not deny that in the past few years I’ve been at University I have really learned to let go a little more each year and in doing so my spirit has become more and more “free.” I put free in quotes because I would like to define what I mean by me having a free spirit:

I no longer feel a sense of urgency when it comes to my life endeavors. I don’t feel the need to have it all figured out by the time I graduate in May. Hell, although I most certainly want to have options lined up for things I can do in my tentative gap year next year, I’m not pulling my hair out stressing and trying to figure that all out because society has placed this false sense of urgency in my head to have my career chosen by the time I turn 21 or 22 years old. My answer to all of those stresses is no, and therefore, my spirit is free.

I choose to enjoy the journey and I urge others to do the same. I am lucky enough to already know what I would like to do ultimately in life, and it doesn’t come with a set path. I don’t just go to school for it and then automatically get a job doing it and be set for the rest of my life. Not that anyone is guaranteed a job these days, but you know, it’s not like I’m going to school to be an engineer so when I graduate I apply for engineering jobs. My career choice is not so cut and dry. So, I recognize that I have to work hard just to find a path, and that is absolutely fine with me. I do not know how I am going to make it to my dream job, but I do know that I will take every opportunity I can if I feel that it will lead me on the path that I want to be on. There is no certainty in my path really, but when it comes down to it, there’s no certainty in anything in life.

So I choose to enjoy life’s journey. Whatever it may be. I truly believe if you work hard, home your craft, and just enjoy what life throws at you everything will turn out the way it should be. Everyone’s going to stress, it’s normal. But I refuse to stress over not having my life or career figured out at 21.